Humhumpledeedee - I "I'm an elephant with amnesia", he said. "Something's gone wacky, inside of my head, Happened last night, while I was in bed, Don't know if I'm Harry, or Tom, Dick or Fred." "You've quite a dilemma", I said to my friend, "Whether to go from beginning, or end, In search of a way, to possibly mend; So tell me how much, you're willing to spend." "Whatever it takes, I gladly will pay, In coin of the realm, or pumpkins and hay. It surely would be a wonderful day, To find myself out, wouldn't you say?" "Indeed, I agree, without question or pause. If you will sign here, and initial this clause, I'll search high and low, to find your in-laws", (Soon as your money is safe in my paws). He paid me in full, right there on the spot. I promised results, by nine on the dot, And left him alone, in the dark parking lot, While I went for a nap on my favorite cot. I'm shamed to admit, I did not reveal, That I knew all along, his name is Emile. I cared not a wit, for how he must feel, But accepted his money, I'm really a heel. I woke with a hunger for cheese covered fries. Decided instead, go apologize, In spite of my fear of his humongous size. One swat of his trunk, would be my demise. I told him his name, then waited to see, If he would demand the return of his fee. He told me to keep it, so grateful was he, To learn that his name is Humhumpledeedee. Don't know why I did it. I should have said Sam, Or told him the truth, instead of a scam. If he ever finds out, I'll be in some jam. That's why I'm writing this, while on the lam. ©2009 Wayne Hepburn - All Rights Reserved [Image adapted from stock art licensed to author]

Humhumpledeedee - II Humhumpledeedee, what a wonderful name, Too bad it's not mine, ain't it a shame. It was for a while, about two or three days, When I was still going around in a haze. I went through a bout of amnesia, you see, So I hired a guy to identify me. He told me he'd found out my name, right away. Humhumpledeedee! It thrilled me to say. I walked around town, introducing myself, "My name is the same as that magical elf", I wandered some more, enjoying my life, Until I got home, and said to my wife, "Here is your hubby,Humhumpledeedee, Happy to see you, yes, pleased as can be. Glad to get home, for I needed the loo." "Emile! What on earth, is the matter with you?" "To whom are you speaking, my sweet Hunny Bunny?" She said, "You are acting suspiciously funny." "Whatever you mean, does not bother me, Nothing can ruffle Humhumpledeedee." She gave me a look, I believe of disdain, Said, "Have you been somewhere and drinking, again? You know you're not Humpledeedumpty or such, And I'll thank you to stop all this silliness much, As I like a good joke every once in a while, This name foolishness is not your best style." What was she saying? I had my name wrong? She called me Emile. I'll just go along, Pretending it's true, to avoid argument, But firm in my faith, I'll never relent, In keeping the knowledge I've hidden in me, That truly, I am, Humhumpledeedee. ©2009 Wayne Hepburn - All Rights Reserved [Image adapted from stock art licensed to author]

Humhumpledeedee - III I used Emile's money to get out of town. I pray he won't find me holed up in this burg. To try and elude him, I'm dressed as a clown. Over my shoulder, I check every day, Looking for someone, who may be a spy, To see if he traced me, since I ran away. The postman delivered a letter to me. It came with a postmark from my home town, But the name of the sender was a mystery to me. I thought I was safe since I dropped out of sight, Telling no one my plans, like where I might go, That somebody knew quite gave me a fright. I opened the letter with fear in my heart, Worried it might be some news I would hate, I read it all through, then again from the start. It said, "Hello Mousey. How have you been? Life here for me is splendid indeed. Except for a little bug bite on my chin. I'd thank you in person if you were around, For the fine joke you played when I was so blue, From having amnesia, and asked help from you. Instead of Emile, you invented a name, Flamboyant, delightful, like no other known. I've made it my own now life's not the same. I confess I am happy, like never before. Each day is adventure, of one kind or another, I'm a happy new person, right down to my core. I owe it to you. Though I paid you a fee, It was worth more than money, this joy I now have. The letter was signed, Humhumpledeedee. What a relief, I can tell you for sure. I packed all my stuff and headed for home. No more mean jokes. I've taken the cure. ©2009 Wayne Hepburn - All Rights Reserved [Image adapted from stock art licensed to author]